Comments (283)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., February 24, 2013 5:15 am

Most people think they are communicating, when in actuality, they are not getting their message across. Yes, they are sending messages; however, much is lost within the communication process, which comprises more than 90% of the message being
sent!

The receiver may be thinking what the right answer would be for your question; they may be thinking about something that just happened that they cannot get of their heads, or their feelings and emotions are being compromised from hearing the communication.

By the time your message is sent and the time your message is received, a lot happens with your message. The person hears the message and decodes it, giving their interpretation to it.

In business and in relationships, we want a message to be heard and effective if we are to proceed with a good communication between two parties. In this book, my hope is that you obtain the necessary knowledge to use language correctly and to know the many variances of the language process.

Everywhere we go, there seems to be signals of some kind. There are signs, logos, labels, photographs, newspapers mobile devices and computer screens. The signs are so common that we get used to them and instinctively know what they mean. These signals have become important to our way of life.

People interpret what they want to interpret. They hear what they choose.

In the book, Words That Work, Frank L. Luntz says,

“It’s not what you say, and it’s what people hear.” He goes on to say “You can have the best message in the world, but the person on the receiving end will always understand it through the prism of his or her own emotions preconceptions, prejudices and preexisting beliefs.”

In today’s world of social networking, texting, tweets and
Facebook posts, along with electronic forms of communication words can easily be misunderstood and misinterpreted.

People want immediate gratification when they send a message. When people used to write letters, (what a concept!) they had to wait for a response. Today, you reach contacts, worldwide, in seconds. We are in an era with “real time.”) Businesses now send messages via office email quickly and efficiently.

In the book, Multiple Intelligences by Howard Gardner, he said that

“We. now have the opportunity to go beyond stated expectations and explore specific interests. Since sending and receiving messages immediately is so beneficial, we seem to have lost the ability to use more archaic forms of communication. No longer do your children call every week; they text. Everything has moved in a direction of
“I need information right now. It concerns me we are losing the opportunity to communicate in-person or over a landline, in lieu of technological advances.”

The majority of the population is born with an ability to hear, but not necessarily, to listen. There are several reasons people do not or cannot listen or remember. These range from physical conditions to cultural beliefs.

During one of the classes, required to get my Ph.D., an instructor gave his view on the word ‘understand.’ In his words, “The word ‘understand’ is just a clever reversal of ‘stand under’ and has been suggested to mean just that: to stand under.” If you ‘stand under’
someone and look up to them you will better understand what they are going through and why your communication may not be getting across.

Edward R. Murrow said,

“Communication’ is the process of exchanging information and ideas. An active process, it involves encoding, transmitting, and decoding intended messages. There are many means of communicating and many different language systems. Speech and language is only a portion of communication.

Other aspects of communication may enhance or even eclipse the linguistic code. These aspects are paralinguistic, nonlinguistic, and linguistic.

It is the transmission of information so that the recipient
Understands what the sender intends.”

Just because we send a message doesn’t mean the receiver hears what you intended them to hear because somewhere in-between the sender and the receiver are the thought processes, feelings and interpretations of the receiver. The receiver must be open to receiving the senders’ message.

For example, when you see a yellow sign with a curved arrow along the road, you know there is a curve ahead. When you see a plus sign, you know you are to add. When you see a red light, you know to stop.

The key to the use of signals in communication knows that both the sender and receiver of the message must understand the communication! Let’s say, you were given a math problem, but you

did not know the minus sign is the signal for subtraction, you
would not be able to complete the problem.

When people used to write letters, (what a concept!) they had to wait until the receiver gets the communication.

Thus, this book about the communication process and all that it entails.

Watch on Amazon for The Communication Handbook. Everyone needs this book in order to communicate effectively.

Comments (186)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., December 5, 2012 10:53 am

So many people in business are out for themselves. They see another person doing what they are doing as competition. Some people are in competition with themselves. That is the professional choice. It is very tempting to use email as a “venting machine” but it is not the best way. Once you write an email (spell check or not) this email can be forwarded to ANYONE in the world. This may not be something you wish to happen.

Following are ten of my email tips for Professionals:

(1) Always address the person by their professional name (Dr, Ms,etc.)

(2) Keep the email to a minimum amount of words. This is not to be something you write in place of a letter!

(3) Remember the saying, “Never Complain, Never Explain.” This means that if you do not have to say something within the email, refrain from saying it! Say what you mean to be the message and sign your professional name, always.

(4) Have you ever heard the saying, “Less is More.” This is very true with emails. I’m not sure why people think they have to write 4 pages of text in an eMail. Do they think all of it will be read? Research shows they will skim and not read.

(5) Do not use Emoticons in your email. A smiling face should be reserved for your friends and family.

(6) No negativity within any email. If you are negative, this creates animosity between you and the receiver. This is never good. Be positive in your words when writing an email.

(7) Always use spellcheck. Although, this may not correct all errors, it is very useful.

(8) Use search engines when you are uncertain about the way a word should be spelled. So many mistakes in emailis could be avoided by taking this important step.

(9 Never cc unless you want the person on the other end of email to see what you have wrtiten. Ask yourself, “Do I really need to send this to this person? “Is there some purpose.”

(10) Always bcc. A blind carbon copy is not traceable and confidential information is protected.

There are so many wonderful things about email. It is wonderful for keeping in touch with friends and family but eMails can be a double-edged sword and come back to bite!

Use email to your advantage and come across professional to all people in the business world.

I’ve had a lot of experience with email in that I receive over 500 per day. This doesn’t count social site messages. I’m Dr. Joyce, President of The ImageMaker, Inc.® and specialize in Communications. Go to http://www.donnaink.org and order one of my latest books, SYMBOLS: The Art of Communication. Visit me on http://www.businesspresentationsplus.com ….Purchase a seminar today; Give the seminar tomorrow… with your logo and name!
My motto is “I work for you!”

Comments (158)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., September 26, 2012 11:13 am

What is Awareness? And What does this have to do with your Inner Image? Let’s explore. The word AWARENESS means you have knowledge and keep informed of recent developments. Awarensss is outside the realm of mainstream education, although I haven’t figured out why. Many people who go through the education system see people who are “uneducated.”

It’s time to wake up and become aware. You have many possibilities…why not use them? Most do not, However, YOU can be the person who want to be in your dreams. You see. Dreams are goals, unfulfilled.

A writer from his work, Awareness, give an example:

A man found an eagles’ egg and put it in trhe nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of crhicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what his family (the barnyard chicks did.) He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He chucked and crackled. He would even try to fly a few feet into the air. Years passed and the eagle grew old. One day, he saw a magnificient bird above him in the cloudless sky. It guilded in graceful magesty among the powerful wind and currents with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. “Who’s that? he asked. “That is the eagle, the kind of the birds, said his neighbour. He belongs in the sky. We belong to the earth….we are chickens.”

So the eagle lived and died a chicken for that is what he thought he was.

Be Aware!

Comments (263)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., September 2, 2012 9:20 am

So, you want to write a book. You thought about writing a book. You may have even saved information for the book you’ll write “some day.” Why not write that book? But where do you begin. I’ve mapped out steps to take to write your first book. Why not get started? Take out your pen and paper and let’s begin!

(1) What are you passionate about? Think about what your interests are and write these down.

(2) Gather your thoughts and decide whether you would like to be a fiction or non-fiction writer.

(3) Begin with notepad on your computer or even the old-fashioned way of tablet and pen.

(4) Jot down some ideas you have, be it for a fiction or non-fiction book.

(5) Think about what you have written and go away from this for about a week or so.

(6) During this “break” you’ll find yourself going back to your writing and adding a few things. You’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night with your best thoughts!

(7) The week has passed and you go back to what you wrote earlier (with your late night additions, of course.)

(8) Read over what you have written and ask yourself these question: Does it make sense? Does it follow a pattern? Is the information flowing? Would someone else want to read it?

(9) Begin a Table of Contents so that you have a “map” of where you want to go with your book. You wouldn’t take a trip with directions, would you? Writers need a map of what they will be doing for each chapter.

(10) Now that you have your Table of Contents, begin with your introduction. Every book needs an introduction to what the book will be about. Be sure the first five or six pages of your introduction will entice a reader to want to read more.

(11) Begin talking with a graphic designer about what the book cover might look like. For example, if you are writing about history, you might think of a historical cover. In order to get ideas, go to the bookstore, if you can still find one (now, these are called “brick and mortar,” and see what other authors did in their first five or six pages. See whether or not there covers reflect what is inside the book.

12) Go to Amazon and look at the type of book you plan to write. What do you find for a genre you like? Read many “inside the book” segments and see how they wrote an introduction.

13) Never take anyone else’s material. It will not be written by you, if you do! I’ve heard that it’s a compliment for people to “copy” you, however, it’s not a nice compliment as they are “stealing your work.” Then, what happens is people, eventually, think you copied their work and publishers have trouble trying to decipher who was the original author. Even quotes are cited for many different authors and its the same quote!

14) So, do it right. Write from the heart. If you are a speaker, you can write just like you speak. That’s what I do in my writing. It makes writing so much easier and fun when words come from within and readers like that.

15) Have you made your decision yet? Will you write a book? There is so much talent out there, you may be the next best seller!

16) If you made the decision to write, remember this story. I’m not, exactly, sure how it was said, so I paraphase and say that Steven King wrote a book, many years ago and after 100 publishers turned him down, the story goes, he threw his book into the wastebasket. His wife picked it up and sent it to a publisher and Steven King was a best-selling author and you know the rest. Will you be the next Stephen King?

17) In these times, most will not find a large publisher to publish our work. This does not mean our work is sub-standard; it means there are too many entertainers, sports stars, celebrities and politicians that are best-sellers right away and they don’t have for you. However, there is good news. Many small publishers have “popped up” and they want your work! Now, remember, a publisher does not ask you for money to print your book. That is what self-publishing is for (people pay for their books.) A small publisher may charge to edit your book to their satisfaction and to make up a template, but that is about all a “real” small publisher/literary agent will do.

(18) Get on to the social sites and join groups. People know people and they will begin to recommend their publisher to you.

(19) Are you still writing? GOOD! Keep writing. Depending on whether you are writing a few hours a day or, like me, staying up all night (to keep the interuptions at bay,) you will, suddenly, see the makings of a book.

(20) Don’t even think about sending your book to a large publishing house. They are busy with all the movie stars and politicians. Seek out small publishing companies, start-ups (I love being at the beginning of something that will grow,) and get published. I did!

GOOD LUCK!

Written by Dr. Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D. AICI CIM

www.imagemaker1.com

Comments (181)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., February 14, 2012 1:53 pm

LIFE AFTER COLLEGE

Does your wardrobe still resemble a somewhat broke, college/high school fanatic, skimpy, really comfortable, version of yourself?With cheap $8 College Students have become comfortable with T- shirts with sayings on them and left over high school apparel, a zip-up jacket, big clunky boots, sweatpants and formal dresses that only a college students should be wearing. You may be afraid of looking matronly, but, at the same time, don’t want to dress like you are still a student. You want to attempt to look young and stylish, but still look your age. You need a balanced wardrobe that can take you from the office evening or shopping to dinner with friends. Transitioning from life after college into the real world can be difficult for many of us Gen-Y ers, so instead of stressing out about what to wear, you must transform your wardrobe from young to young professional,

ETIQUETTE FOR THE COLLEGE GRADUATE:

What is etiquette? Webster’s dictionary defines it as “the forms, manners, and ceremonies established by convention as acceptable or required in social relations, in a profession, or in official life. This is crucial to know upon graduating from college.
The following “rules” will help a college graduate know what is expected of them:
•Be polite, pleasant and courteous when answering the telephone.
•Answer promptly any telephone that rings in the office.
•Avoid blowing and popping gum in the office.
•Be discrete when coughing or yawning.
•Avoid applying makeup at the desk.
•Use positive body language.
• Avoid eating at your desk when dealing with the public.
•Be tactful with rude people.
• Avoid personal conversation when a client is waiting. Other things employees should watch out for follow.
• Be on time!
•Avoid annoying habits.
• Practice teamwork. Do not use strong perfume or cologne.
• Do not wear noisy jewelry.

Their will always be people who are unhappy or insecure and guess what? They work with you; they are associates; they are organization members and they all have a different personality type.

In order to deal with many types of personalities, you must know what the types are. The MBTI and other assessments will give you this information. They are available on www.imagemaker1.com.

Remember that the most important thing in success is your energy. This is what makes you “you.” So, be happy, become secure and know what’s important in leaving college and entering the work force is instead of making YOURSELF comfortable; you must make other people comfortable. It’s what makes the difference between moving up or down the company ladder!

Comments (181)

By Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D., January 15, 2012 12:10 pm

The average person does not communicate well. Most communication is ineffective. Communication skills cannot be a substitute for authenticity. Caring, and understanding. They can help us express these qualities more effectively.

Good people skills not only get you what you want, they will bring out the best in your relationships.
There are virtually no jobs where communication skills do not make a big difference to our success. The actual work is only part of the job: the rest is managing or dealing with people. If we communicate well, this can account for at least half of our achievements.

People yearn for a closer connection with one another. They may be lonely, not because they do not have others around them; but because they cannot communicate well. If we can put a man on the moon, and cure diseases, why aren’t we all great communicators?

It is partly because we learn a good deal of our communication skills from our family. Chances are our parents were not perfect communicators, and neither were their parents. Our communication is full of road blocks that prevent real communication. Two of the main ones are judging, and sending solutions. When talking to another, it is difficult to listen to what they are saying without putting in your opinion. This is the nicer side of judging. The other is criticism and labeling.

With people close to us, we feel we should be critical. Otherwise, we don’t see how they will ever change. With others, we feel the need to give them a label. Such as Intellectual, brat, jerk, or nag. But by doing so, we cease to see the person before us; only a type.

Our good advice is rarely constructive. Because it usually represents a front to the other persons intelligence. We get so used to having roadblocks that we wonder what will be left if we remove them from our style of conversation. What remains is the ability to understand and empathize with other people. And to make our concerns clearly known.

Are your conversations a competition in which the first person to draw breathe is declared the listener? Not many people are good listeners. Research has found the 70 percent of oral communication is ignored, misunderstood, or quickly forgotten. There is a huge difference between merely hearing and listening.

The word listening is derived from two Anglo Saxon words: listen hearing and lognean. The act of listening means something more than just something physical. It is actually a psychological engagement with another person. Listening is not a single skill but if genuinely practiced, involves a number of skill areas – they are:
ATTENDING -85 PERCENT OF OUR COMMUNICATION IS NONVERBAL.

THEREFORE, ATTENDING SKILLS WHICH IS THE EXTENT TO WHICH WE ARE THERE FOR SOME REASON ARE VITAL TO COMMUNICATION. You are not looking somewhere else in the room. Your posture, eye contact and movement you show the other person that they are your focus. You are listening with your body.

When Rockwell was creating a painting of President Eisenhower, even though the President was amid the worries of office and an election campaign, for the one and one half hour he sat with Rockwell, Eisenhower gave the painter his full attention.

Think of anyone you know who is a great communicator and they will be the same. They fully attend with you with their whole mind and body.

FOLLOW UP- HOW we follow up what someone says to us. Instead of advising or assuring, provide a door opening phrase. This may involve noting the others body language. :”Your face is beaming today. Inviting the other person to speak. : “Tell me More” Care to talk about this? Whets on your mind? /